A housing update and a rant.
I'm pleased to report "my" house has gone from "active" to "pending" and the Open House has been cancelled. The next step is to have
the home inspection done which I've scheduled for Wednesday. Our real estate agent won't be there, says inspectors don't like the
agent being there and in any case she does not need to be because he
will contact the listing agency to get into the house. I chose the
same company, Five Star Home Inspections, (they serve parts of Ohio and Kentucky) that we used in 2008 so I'm
confident that the report will be thorough and we should be meeting
up the next day to go over it.
I've
been feeding my father little bits of info about the house and the process,
hoping that that will ease him into the idea but why I care or am even
bothering I don't know because he had been trying to discourage me
and hasn't been the least bit happy for us like everyone else seems
to be. My immediate family, hubby's family and coworkers are happy for us, strangers from my blog are happy
for us but not my father.
My father has come up with a whole host
of different reasons we should not do this, some of which I'd already
considered myself and others like “you should
buy a house that appreciates in value” and “another place I can't
get into” and “don't trust your husbands boss (who is a fantastic carpenter by the way) to come over and help you fix things” and on and on and on. Don't trust the agent. Don't trust
the house or the bank. Don't trust a USDA government loan. Don't expect the co. hubby works for and manages to be in business long enough to pay off the house even though they've been in the business of audio/video computers for over 25 years. Don't trust hubby's ability to work that long. Don't trust the seller either
because both the seller and the agent will go out of their way to
cover things up about the house. I should get a dog because robberies
happen in houses, not apartments. When I reminded him I own a .38
revolver, he just replied that I had no bullets for it and hubby wouldn't want to spend the money on them- I should've reminded him
that while he gave me the gun, he refused to even give me the bullets
that were already in it. I suppose I'm just supposed to clobber them with it? I've also heard how the town we're moving to is “far
away”, 45 minutes while in reality, its 30 minutes away, the same
drive hubby makes every day twice a day, 5 days a week to go to work.
I showed him every
picture of the house, the nice brick outside, the nice finished
basement with ceramic tile- Dad doesn't even have a completely
finished basement anymore- and he wouldn't even say the house looked
nice.
I've tried to emphasize
all the positive points of moving including how the boys will have their own rooms and we'll have so much more space... Even how now
Dad could come to my house and visit me instead of having to be
visited at his own house... and all he could say to that was how he
wasn't spending the whole f***ing day in a manual wheelchair.
Seriously??? I know the manual chair is less than comfortable but I
didn't say spend the whole day in it and I would think he'd want to
see the place his daughter and grandchildren will be living in.
And yet, when I tell him
it will be better to live in a house and maybe own the thing one day
than to be paying rent and throwing money in a hole, he says he told
me we should've been looking to buy a house a long time ago. I guess
he forgot that 8 years ago when we almost bought a house, he threw a
fit, 3 years ago when I talked about it again it was a disaster and
last October, that he made me an offer for a down payment and
immediately took the offer back, all because I'd been “bitching,
pissing and moaning”.
I live 5 minutes away now and he is making me glad it's about to grow to 30 minutes. In closing, if you're doing both what you need to do and have to do and you're going about it right, don't let other people poo-poo on your decision to buy a house. -MK
yay on house! And oh wow. Your dad sounds like the most amazingly logical, friendly, connected and positive man. *cough* . I am glad you are doing what you need to in spite of the interference from him, and best of luck with the inspection and the rest of the process moving smoothly (including moving :D)
ReplyDeleteThank you very much both for reading and taking the time to leave a comment. It will be a crazy couple of months but I'd like to think that in the end, it will be worth it.
DeleteCongrats on the house! Your dad sounds like my parents. :) Just take it with a grain of salt and do what you feel is right for you and your family. Again, congrats!!
ReplyDeleteMy father is a category unto himself.
DeleteThank you very much, its nice to have some happy support.
Congratulations on the house! I read all your articles about it, but didn't take the time to make a comment. Buying a house is very complicated, I think, and not much fun. Of course it's nice to have your own place, and you can do with it what you want, but it's so..uhm..draining energy. I've been there too, 14 years ago, and now I'm in the middle of a big renovation (almost 2 years living in the garage now, which is like a holiday home, so no worries, and I hope this year it will get ready). Also quite a project.
ReplyDeleteBack then, we visited about 3 or 4 houses, including the one we bought. The others required immediate big renovations and we didn't want that. One had quite a garden with fruittrees, but it was very contaminated because there used to be a smith's workplace and usually waste was buried onsite.
We did to do quite some work on the house immediately after we bought it, though.
And you know what? A few years before we went on househunting, my mum and I came through this very small, cute village and one of the houses was on sale. I said to my mum, that would be a house I would really like to buy. After we eventually bought the house we're living now, I realised after a while that it was the house I saw then.
Thank you for this and the comment you left below. I agree with everything you said, including not wanting to buy a house that requires a lot of work. I'm realistic about that and know I have neither the technical skill required for repair and renovation or the funds to hire someone who does. The process of moving itself and transferring utilities is quite enough of a load in the beginning; this particular house needs very little work and I'll be able to focus on the transition instead. I don't have a garage/holiday home =) but I will have my own little art studio and that makes it THE house I think.
DeleteOh, what I forgot. It's always hard in a way to hear from your parents they disagree, no matter how much you believe you do the right thing (and your other family/friends believe in you) or how much the parents almost always disagree with anything.
ReplyDeleteThere will be no further discussion of this house with my father. I'm throwing in the towel on that one.
DeleteIt's sad when someone that we love can't appreciate us when we are trying to better ourselves. There is no doubt that buying a home, rather than renting, is the smart thing to do. But it does suck that your dad can't join in your joy. As you said, try to focus on all of the other people in your life that bring you joy and that are happy for you. To be honest, it sounds like your dad has a little jealousy in his heart. I'm sure that when you are moved in and he can see how happy and comfortable the house has made you and your family, he will come around and be there for you when you need him. In the meantime, don't engage in the negativity...just let it stay with him...and don't bring it into your world. Best wishes on your new adventures!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your time, Barbara. There will be no more house talk with him initiated by me but he doesn't need that topic to be negative., almost everything is negative in his world. I do hope that his attitude will change eventually but it's not going to happen, he doesn't LIKE my hubby and kids much, most of the time I don't think he even likes me. I'm almost 36, I'm too old for this.
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